Issue 8:
Don't Bother Me, I'm Thinking
By
Medulla Vesuvius
The literature of humanity is obviously diverse, discussing all manner of ideas: What is love? Who or what is God? How does stuff work? What is right and what is wrong? It’s only been fairly recently, (probably within the last hundred and fifty years or so), that writers dared to depict humanity’s future with any kind of technology. I’m thinking in particular of the works of George Orwell and Aldous Huxley, but there were others who wondered how technology and humans would interact.And you can think of technology in two disparate ways: a) either the products of our scientific exploration will make our lives easier or b) the machines will take over and end life as we know it. Even though this kind of talk is usually the specialty of our own Dr. Roger Korby, I want to talk about the virtues of a specific technology that has come about within the confines of my own lifetime: the remote control.
It’s an elegant idea, isn’t it? I want to do something, but I want to do it from a distance. It’s really hard to imagine, but there once was a time, not so long in fact, when there was no such thing as manipulation from a separate location. Control of physical things always implied proximity. Do you remember having to get up off the couch, walk over to the television set, (which was encased in rich mahogany if you were of a certain financial stratus), and change the channel? Obviously those days are long gone as I can control much more than my television remotely. In my living room, I have four different controllers for the stereo, DVD player, TV, and sound system and that’s a rather modest set-up. Going to Rascal Stallion’s house is like walking through a minefield of remotes. And let us not forget how we use remotes for outdoor purposes like unlocking our cars, lifting garage doors, and if we’re in the movies, for detonating explosives.
But today I want to talk in particular about my television remote. Well, not just mine, but everybody’s. I want to talk about the idea of television remotes and then a general principle.
Here’s the deal. There is no question that my remote control is a handy device. Literally. It goes in your hand. You use your hands and fingers to manipulate it. And it does miraculous things, chief of which is that it changes the channel on the TV. I can spend a whole evening on the couch if I want to and barely have to move a muscle. Thanks to this little device, I can come this close to entering a vegetative state while searching for what’s on. (Which makes me wonder-is a potato a vegetable? Only the validity of the phrase “couch potato” rests on the answer.)
So, clearly the remote control is a helpmate for mankind. Sort of like Eve in the Bible. But the principle I wanted to discuss is that of hidden influence. The development and proliferation of television remotes has had consequences that surely couldn’t have been foreseen at the time of their invention, particularly in the world of advertising.
Very few people like to watch commercials. Oh, I suppose ad execs enjoy them and the Super Bowl ads are the glaring exception. But if someone was given the choice between watching a credit counseling commercial or ER, ER would win every time. And before the invention of “the clicker” people had very little choice in the matter. While we hated commercials, we hated getting off our asses even more.
Not so in the modern age. A commercial break is now a chance to “see what else is on” for about two or three minutes. We are no longer forced to watch anything we don’t want to. And that must drive advertising professionals batty. I’m sure they are constantly trying to come up with ways to get our attention quickly, before we begin to “surf”: using bright colors for establishing shots, screaming at us…Who knows what tricks they have these days?
Like I said before, a whole industry had to change to accommodate the residual effects from the invention of a rather simple device-the remote control. Similarly, an entire industry was changed when some dude decided that he wanted to encode the music on his CDs in a compressed file format on his computer and thus the birth of mp3s, the slow death of record companies, and the end of lockouts at large recording studios. Could anyone have seen all of these repercussions beforehand? C.S. Lewis talked about the relative merits and ill effects of science and technology in The Abolition of Man, I believe it was, and one of the big ideas stemming from Sartre’s existentialism was the idea that humans are cursed to be free, in that we are free to choose, (i.e. to create and invent–or not), yet at the same time we have incomplete knowledge of the possible consequences of our actions.
And so I wonder, as I hold that little insignificant remote control in my hand, what other “little things” being made or thought about today will bring about unforeseen changes in tomorrow’s future?
Issue 8:
Escaping Life
By
Rascal Stallion
I was sitting here trying to think of what I might write about this week when my mind drifted off. I began to wonder how different my life might be if I owned various items from books and films. After daydreaming for half an hour about this I realized my topic was plainly evident. So now, without further ado, I present to you:
Science Fiction Items I Wish I Had (and the mischief I would commit with them)
Lightsaber- The first item that comes to mind when my thoughts turn this direction is also probably the least practical. Sure it would be immeasurably cool but what are its practical uses? It’s not enough to just sit around the house and play with it, that’s just asking for an amputated limb (or at least a bisected dog.) I suppose I could tour the country on the fair circuit and show it off between the Gravitron and the Worlds Fattest Man tent, but what kind of a life is that? No thanks.
Pee Wee’s Bicycle- This is another entry into the category of stuff that would be a blast to have but wouldn’t really make my life any different. I already have a bicycle and I don’t ride it all that often. I can’t imagine having a plastic lion’s head on the front would increase the likelihood of my pulling it out of the garage. I suppose it would be fun to use its jets to make massive jumps, but knowing me, it would just lead to a massive wreck. And no doubt while I was convalescing, Francis would come and steal it.
The Predator’s Cloaking Device- Now we’re talking. If I had that thing I would surely lead a life of crime. I could sneak into all sorts of places and, over time, become as world renowned as the notorious LeMarque. If I had the stones for it I could network myself into the world’s greatest assassin. But, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t do anything all that ambitious. I would just rip off 7-11s for cash and spend the rest of my time chilling out in girls’ locker rooms.
Wonka’s Chocolate Factory- Now this would be sweet. Not only would I have a cash cow that would allow me to just sit back and watch the dough roll in but I’d also have my own legion of Oompa Loompa slave labor to carry out whatever devious plans I could concoct. The abundance of available candy would ensure an early death, but if you’ve got to die, you could do a lot worse than death by chocolate.
The Delorean from Back to the Future- I was originally going to write about having one of those flying skateboards from the film until 1 realized 1) I would kill myself very quickly. I can’t even ride the kind with wheels. 2) Who wants a stupid flying board when you can have a time traveling car? (Not to mention how it’s almost impossible to look uncool getting out of a car with those suicide doors. They are like the exact opposite of the motorcycle sidecar.) I know the whole trilogy is essentially about all the problems that arise form jacking with the past and future but I’m sure I could manage to avoid all that and still become the most powerful man in the history of the world.
Honorable mention cars: Batmobile, Mach 5 and KITT
The computer from Weird Science- You have to admit, it would be most excellent to have a computer that you can use to create people. Besides the obvious sexual uses that were explored in the film there are a myriad of other applications. I would create a gardener/custodian so I would never have to do any work around the house again. I would make a series of workers to flood the workforce and enjoy the fruits of their labor all the way to the bank. Plus, I bet you could use it to make all kinds of things besides people. I could start my own zoo of totally unique animals. I could even make a real Bigfoot and Nessie. There is no ceiling to the possibilities here.
Teleportation device from The Fly- With its massive size and weight, this isn’t the easiest product to use. Throw in the inherent danger of a fly taking the trip with you and you’ve definitely got your hands full here. Of course, the convenience factor of a working teleportation device makes all the hassle manageable. The difficult choice would be determining where to place the receiver. Would I put it in my office to shave my commute time from its current 20 minutes down to a wispy 1 second? Perhaps I would choose to put the receiver on the beach or some exotic locale I would like to visit whenever whimsy struck me. Of course, placing it in an unsecured locale is an open invitation to disaster. Sure, easy, instant access to the Bahamas would be awesome but the fun is over the moment I make the trip back with a sand crab in the pod with me.
Death Star- Oh boy. Could it get any cooler than this? Methinks not. Sure it would be a logistical nightmare, not to mention the tiny issue of what to even do with it. Staffing would be especially tricky. Not everyone can be the laser operator. I would need someone to clean all the toilets. Plus, how would I pay salaries and ensure my employees remain loyal to me? I would need a competitive benefits package to keep my employees from trying to leave for work at a different space station after I go to the trouble of training them.
That said, none of those things matter. Not when we’re talking about having your own Death Star. I would just live up in space and lord over the plebians of planet Earth. I would shape the entire political landscape of the world. I would pass doctrine and policy and if anyone dared fail to comply I would make millions of voices suddenly cry out in terror and suddenly silence them.
Issue 8:
Life in Space
By
Mr. Atoz, The Librarian
Wolf in the Fold
Rating: “Fascinating”
Synopsis: Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Scott are on Orgellius 2 enjoying some time off, having drinks, and watching a belly-dancer. Scotty, being vaguely referenced in the episode as having issues with women, takes a walk with the bellydancer on a foggy night. A scream is heard, the bellydancer is found stabbed, and Scotty is discovered with the knife.
While the murder is being investigated by the chief administrator of Orgellius, Jaris, and a lawyer-type named Hengist; Lt. Karen Tracy is beamed down from the Enterprise to give Scotty some vague psychoanalytical test. However Lt. Tracey, like the bellydancer, is stabbed as well. Sybo, Jaris’ wife, is called to give a séance to discover the truth of the murders. But in the dark she too is stabbed to death after describing an ancient evil and screaming out the strange words “Rejack, Boradis, Kesla” with Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, Jaris, Hengist, and the bellydancer’s fiancée and father present.
Scotty is then brought to “trial” for the murders on board the Enterprise. Scotty testifies that something cold and evil passed by him in the dark. Kirk asks if it was “someone” and Scotty re-iterates that it was “something.” Scotty gives a lie detector test that says he is telling the truth and that he doesn’t remember anything that has happened, having blacked out during the two murders previous to Sybo’s murder.
Kirk asks the computer to identify the words uttered by Sybo before she was killed- Rejack, Boradis, and Kesla. The computer identifies them as names given to past mass murderers. It identifies more specifically Rejack as an alternate name given to an unidentified early 20th Century mass murderer called Jack the Ripper. Spock identifies the murderer as an alien presence that feeds on the emotion of fear, having traced murder records in star systems that follow a specific pattern. They also identify the murder weapon as one used by a tribe of people on Rigel 4.
“Mr. Hengist”, of course, is your murderer.
However, the alien leaves “Mr. Hengist,” leaving him dead after a simple punch from Kirk. But the alien enters the ship’s computer, leaving it out of control. In order to kill the creature or get it to leave, Kirk and Spock hypothesize that the crew and all on board must drive out their own fear to destroy the creature.
This had the dangerous potential of being just another murder mystery in space. I am not educated enough in literature to know if the murder mystery is one of the basic plotlines of literature, but it seems like every show has one, and Trek is no different. The most compelling points of the show are the breaking down of what or who the “killer” is. At times, the show contains a lot of mundane spookiness, especially the séance scene. I’m intrigued by the recasting of Jack the Ripper as an evil alien who travels through time and space, creating murder and havoc. That’s pretty imaginative. The worst part of the episode is the whole thing with Scotty blacking out, having issues with women, and the like. It is really kind of silly. I understand that you have to have a hero in peril, but it really becomes a bit ridiculous. I have not yet decided if the crazy voice used by Rejack in the computer is creepy or just silly.
The high point of the episode, as you may have guessed, coming from me, is a demonstration of Trek’s not-so-special effects. The actor who plays Hengist is a man named John Feidler. Mr. Feidler is a slight man who typically plays very mild-mannered, sort of wimpy characters. If I am not mistaken, he was the voice of Piglet on Winnie the Pooh. That should give you some idea of who the evil Rejack is. When Hengist is being revealed as the murderer while on the “witness stand,” he is supposed to explode off the stand, beating up everyone on site. However, as the camera pans away from his closeup, the slight Hengist played by John Feidler all of a sudden becomes a very muscular guy made bald like Feidler with a ghastly, obvious skull cap.
Just another example of the awkward special effects of Star Trek.
Issue 8:
Spotlight on Technology
By
Dr. Roger Korby
This November will be a big month for gamers. Assuming there are no delays, Sony and Nintendo will be unleashing their next-generation video consoles, (the PS3 and the Wii, respectively), on the world. Microsoft got a head start by launching their Xbox 360 last November. These new systems are capable of unprecedented graphics and introduce some very innovative features into the gaming world.Last week all three console makers and everyone else in the video game world were in LA for E3, (the Electronic Entertainment Expo). This event can be like a competition between the different companies, each trying to outdo the others with things like bigger booth setups and hotter booth babes. I don’t know who won as far as presentation is concerned, but from what I’ve read and seen, the consensus is that Nintendo’s Wii was the most impressive offering of the three systems. Microsoft has some surprisingly good-looking games for their Xbox 360, and Sony pretty much dropped the ball with their PS3.
Nintendo’s Wii (probably $200)
Most “grown-up” games (such as Grand Theft Auto) were not ported to Nintendo’s last console, the Gamecube. For many, this cast the system as a “kid’s only” machine. Adult gamers tended to prefer the PS2 or Xbox 360. With the Wii, Nintendo is trying to rid itself of this image by creating a system that is so innovative and that plays games that are just so much fun, gamers of all persuasions will want it. They got a lot of flak when they announced they were changing the system’s name from the “Revolution,” (which I still prefer), to the Wii, (pronounced “we”). Nintendo is hoping to reach non-traditional markets with this system, (such as the elderly), and probably has a better chance of this with a friendly name like Wii.
The feature of the Wii that is making the most noise is its new controller. It’s a long remote-looking device that has some sort of gyroscope in it that senses the movements of your hand. At E3 Nintendo showed off a tennis game where you actually swing your arm like you’re holding a racket and the character on the screen swings likewise. It could differentiate between the types of swings, (backhands, forehands, slams), as well.
Another notable feature of the Wii is the “Virtual Console.” The Wii will be able to emulate several old systems, (NES, SNES, N64, TurboGrafix16 and Genesis), and most, (if not all), of the games for these systems. You will download these games as files from Nintendo’s servers. It has yet to be announced if this will be subscription-based or not.
The Wii is significantly less powerful than the other two systems and will not feature the high-definition (HD) graphics that the other systems have. Nintendo has said that this is a measure to keep consumer costs down.
Microsoft’s Xbox 360 ($300-$400)
There was some question about Microsoft’s releasing their system a full year before their competition. Sega did this with their Dreamcast and it turned out to be the final nail in their coffin. The Dreamcast got trounced by the PS2 and Sega eventually closed the doors on its hardware business for good. However, it looks as though Xbox 360 will come out of this fight in one piece. Their E3 showing was strong. The 360 games had arguably the best graphics at the show and supposedly at one booth an “exclusive” PS3 game was actually being run on a hidden Xbox 360.
Microsoft offers a great online experience with their Xbox Live service. Your stats and achievements in games show up on your online account page which offers a new social dimension to gaming. At E3, they announced that eventually PC gamers will be able to play against 360 players, which is pretty cool.
Microsoft scored a coup of sorts by getting Grand Theft Auto IV as an Xbox 360 exclusive. (Presumably it will eventually be ported to PS3 and PC). The previous three installments of this game debuted on the PS2. According to John Carmack of Doom and Quake fame, the Xbox 360 is the easiest system to develop games for. I read a while back that the PS3’s super-powerful technology was very complex and made creating games for it a headache. This is just speculation, but this could have something to do with Rockstar’s switch to the Xbox 360 for their Grand Theft Auto series.
Sony’s PS3 ($500-$600)
It seems the only news you hear about the PS3 is bad. It’s going to cost $600. It may be delayed until ‘07. There may not be many games available at launch. Sony needed to have a good showing at E3 to stifle this bad press. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much to say or show.
On paper, the system looks really nice. It’s got tons of power, potentially will play games at higher resolutions than the other systems, and is the only system to support high capacity DVDs, (Blu-ray DVDs), out of the box. Whether the game developers will be able to make use of all these features and power is yet to be seen.
One interesting note about the PS3 is that it will support Linux. It’s not clear yet if the main operation system of the PS3 will be based on Linux or if it will be able to dual boot into Linux. Either way, the potential for customization seems far greater on the PS3 than on the other systems.
Over the years I have primarily been a PC gamer. The last console I bought was a PS1. But I find myself really excited about these next-generation systems. The potential for the Wii’s controller is off the charts. The online components of all three systems are going to be cool. The graphics of the Xbox 360 and PS3 are going to blow our minds. As for which system(s) I want to get? I’ve got the High-Definition TV bug really bad and will probably try to get one some time this year. If that happens, I’m seriously considering getting an Xbox 360 to really make use of the high-def resolutions. I will definitely get a Wii- all my old favorites through emulation, the controller, and shiny new versions of all my old favorites make getting this system a no-brainer.
Issue 7:
Don't Bother Me, I'm Thinking
By
Medulla Vesuvius
The Postal Service is a hip musical duo that makes catchy electro pop-rock that automatically raises the “cool” quotient when included as a background for commercials for any wares you may want to sell on television. Their music is also well-suited for the emotional confessionals and montage sequences at the end of reality TV shows.
But did you know that there’s another, less well-known Postal Service? That’s right. I’m talking about the United States Postal Service.
I don’t imagine that the last ten or fifteen years have been very kind to the postal service. With the advent of various new and fancy communications technologies like fax machines and email, “snail mail,” (as it was briefly called by hipsters at the end of last century), has become the Boo Radley of the world of written messages.
There once was a time when the only way to send Aunt Marge greetings and photos of little Bobbie and Susie’s birthday parties was to put pen to paper, shove your documents into an envelope, affix proper postage, and trust that within the week, she would receive your familial messages. Yes, once upon a time, mail was king.
But since those days, the postal service has been dethroned as the de facto method for getting the word out. Now fax machines, email, and even text messaging have taken over, and rightly so, as there is simply no comparison between the immediacy of today’s digital magic and yesterday’s slow motion.
But I wonder about the changes being wrought by email and text messaging. I wonder what has changed more: a) what we communicators decide is worthy of putting in the mailbox or b) how we communicate altogether. In other words, has the ability to send the written word to Hong Kong instantaneously only changed what I write? Or has how I write been changed as well?
Is Mail Worth the Effort Anymore?
Obviously a new method of choosing what should be sent via the postal service has arisen since we now have a choice. Given the choice between simply emailing a letter with attachments and mailing a hand-written letter and printed photos, it’s a no-brainer that you would choose the method that uses the least amount of time and effort, unless the messiness of sentimentality enters the equation. Sentimentality might dictate that if messages contain anything other than the dry, emotionless prose of business correspondence, those messages might call for more permanence than an email or text message lends. (See “On Books, Libraries and Knowledge in the Information Age,” for more on this idea of permanence.) When someone, spurred on by a need to preserve memory, chooses the more difficult, time-consuming route of mailing actual physical letters, they swim against the current of where technology would take our communication. Whether this is a heroic act or foolish stubbornness is up for interpretation.
Are Actual Words Worth the Effort Anymore?
If you are of the “descriptive” persuasion when it comes to issues of grammar, you can’t ignore the fact that an emergent set of rules for the written word has sprung forward contemporaneously with the parallel emergent technologies. This emergent set of rules seems to simply reject all previous rules of punctuation, (in a way similar to Bruce Lee’s “no-style” style of fighting.) Capitalization is now arbitrary. The new grammar is minimalist and succinct. What used to be expressed via letter as “Oh, my gosh! That is so funny! I can’t tell you how clever that was. And so true!” might now be expressed as “ROTFL :-)” or “LOL!” in an email or text message.
And so I wonder, with the influx of new ways of abbreviating our common phrases, will we ever get to the point where we write exclusively in abbreviated form? And if what we say to each other is comprised entirely of understood, conventional clichés like “IMHO,” is real communication even occurring? For the typical model of communication includes at least one receptor of new information; but clichés are by their nature not new information for anybody. Or even worse, if no new information is being exchanged-is real, individual thought even occurring? What I’m describing is a strange situation: with great convenience comes intellectual atrophy.
So, as you lick those 39 cent stamps that used to cost 15 cents and fold up that hand-written letter to Grandma, remember that you are committing an act of communicative sabotage on the new machine.
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