Issue 46: Superhero Information Initiative
By Amdnarg Toh

What the Buck???

Ok… As if my opinion on this mattered to the “head shed” at Marvel… And as if my previous musings on the whole Captain America thing hadn’t already been made abundantly clear… LEAVE THIS GUY ALONE! HE’S DEAD!

The whole Marvel Civil War thing seemed to me to be a case of blatant political bullshit, but in spite of itself, having an overarching storyline provided a lot of room for some fairly significant development of both the minor and major characters. Of course, when you basically “out” over half of the worlds’ superheroes, you introduce a human element that makes the characters a bit more believable. And the assassination of Steve Rogers, Captain America, was the capstone to this whole shebang. Kill a major character, let the world mourn, have some random heroes carry the mantel of the fallen hero for a while… Boo freakin hoo! So all that’s left to fill the cookie cutter plotline that’s been used for oh, fifty years or so, is for the fallen hero to be resurrected.

So guess what?

Bucky Barnes was the sidekick to the Cap’n for a number of years during the WWII era. He was just an orphan kid (another tired sidekick theme) who hung around the Army base where his Dad was stationed. He accidentally walked in on Steve Rogers changing into his Captain America outfit, and vowed to keep his secret if the Captain would train him. So Bucky Barnes became one of the few Marvel teen sidekicks. However, as destiny would have it, he didn’t last long. During the same ill-fated mission that left the Captain in suspended animation, frozen in an iceberg, Bucky was supposedly killed, never to be brought back… Until it was convenient.

So we have the story of the Winter Soldier, who is really Bucky Barnes. After the accident that supposedly killed him, the Soviets found a body floating in the Arctic, missing an arm. They nursed him back to life, gave him a cybernetic arm, and reprogrammed his mind, occasionally reviving him from his semi-permanent suspended animation to go on missions of ultimate importance.

Eventually he meets up with Captain America, who eventually is able to restore Bucky’s memories, but before they can fully reconcile, Steve Rogers is shot and killed. Blaming Tony Stark (Iron Man) for Steve’s death, Bucky plans to kill him, but ends up just stealing the Captain’s shield, hoping to keep Mr. Stark from appointing someone else to replace Steve. It is finally revealed that before his death, Steve had secrety written Tony Stark, asking him to take care of Bucky. Bucky decides to take on the mantle of the red, white, and blue, and Stark decided to secretly support him, even though it would be illegal for him to do so since Bucky intends to keep his secret identity.

So now we’ve got a new Captain America.

But if you’re really going to kill off a major character, then do it. Make it final. Retconn him or her in 20 years, not in 6 months. Captain America’s “resurrection” is only slightly justified by the fact that it’s really Bucky under that shield and mask. But I guess it was destined to happen – many have worn the shield from the Punisher to Power Man, to the cadre of miscellaneous guys in the 50’s and 60’s. They could at least give him some long-forgotten vial of the Super Soldier serum to give him something other than a shield, gun, and a cybernetic arm. I’ll bet it doesn’t even shoot lasers!!! Sheesh!

Issue 46: Tournament of Villainy
By Rascal Stallion

Syndrome vs Saruman

Name: Syndrome aka Buddy Pine		Name: Saruman
Occupation: Super Villain	vs.	Occupation: Wizard
Origin: The Incredibles		Origin: J.R.R. Tolkien’sThe Lord of the Rings

The worst thing about the subway was the smell. The second worst thing was all the filthy people. The third worst thing was all the panhandlers, although as Saruman thought about it, that third thing was really just an extension of the second one and probably didn’t merit being its own thing. At any rate, he was in an especially sour mood. That’s not to say he wasn’t always in a sour mood. It should be noted, however, that this mood was so sour that it was nasty compared with his average mood. Suffice it to say, he was not happy. His car was in the shop and he had no option but to use public transportation to return to his home in Newark.

Saruman pushed his way into the waiting subway car just as the doors were trying to close and was immediately jostled from behind by some lout trying to push his way on as well. He turned to give this ruffian a displeasing look and found himself eye to eye with an equally disgruntled Syndrome.

The two subtly pushed against one another for the next few minutes, each one trying to make a little more room for themselves. After two stops’ worth of riding, the subtlety disappeared and a full blown fight was on the verge of erupting.

The train slowed to its third stop and as the doors opened behind Syndrome, Saruman gave him a forceful whack with his staff that sent him sprawling out onto the waiting platform. With a satisfied smile the old wizard informed Syndrome he had best wait for the next train if he valued breathing.

Syndrome’s temper flared and he activated his utility gauntlets and seized Saruman with a burst of zero-point energy. He pulled Saruman towards him and held him in place as the doors attempted to shut on him. With another flick of his wrist he whipped Saruman fully out of the car and sent him flying headlong into a brick support pillar. The pillar cracked upon impact, as did Saruman’s skull.

Saruman lifted himself from the ground and used his booming voice to command several citizens to attack Syndrome. He then lifted his staff and unleashed a bolt of valar at him. Syndrome used his aero-boots to evade the people, who were then incinerated by the valar bolt.

Syndrome captured Saruman in another wave of zero-point energy and flung him towards the tracks. Once positioned above the empty tracks, Syndrome violently raised Saruman towards the ceiling. He struck with such force he went through the roof up to his shoulders. Saruman was in terrible pain but he yet lived. This was soon to be not the case.

Hopefully Saruman didn’t have anything terribly important he wished to accomplish while still alive because while Syndrome held him in place the next train swept into the station, taking the lower half of Saruman’s body with it. The subway car was washed in guts as they rained down from the wizard’s body. Syndrome sidestepped a thick drip of blood as he re-entered the car to continue his journey home.

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