Issue 35: Tournament of Villainy
By Rascal Stallion

Saruman vs Khan

Name: Khan Noonien Singh		Name: Saruman
Occupation: Genetically-Engineered Superman	vs.	Occupation: Wizard
Origin: Star Trek		Origin: J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings

Saruman and Khan had no reason to fight one another. In fact, there is no reasonable explanation for them to ever be in the same place or even time. Yet, here they were inside the long abandoned Regal Ice factory and it was about to get ugly. Silently glaring at one another, each one’s ambition so large it simply couldn’t coexist with the other. A fight was imminent.

Khan stared down his adversary, desperately seeking any sign of weakness he could use to his advantage. The wizard appeared old, but not feeble and he gave all appearances of being quite capable of a battle.

Saruman, on the other hand, had already dismissed Khan as an inferior opponent. Sure he had a muscular physique and a look in his eye that told of many battles won. Still, he was only a human and didn’t even deserve the dignity of dying by the wizard’s hand.

Bored with the battle before it had hardly begun, Saruman waved his staff in Khan’s direction and sent a blast of fire at him. Saruman was shocked, however, as Khan deftly dodged the blast and made a few acrobatic leaps before ultimately landing both feet into Saruman’s chest in a wicked drop kick.

Saruman fell backwards in great pain, his staff falling several feet away. He couldn’t be sure but he was afraid his ribs were broken. Khan pounced on his fallen opponent and pinned the wizard down. As Khan was about to begin raining down a barrage of fists Saruman’s voice boomed out. “GET OFF OF ME YOU FOUL HUMAN!!!”

Khan obeyed the voice of Saruman. He got off of the wizard and tried to clear the cobwebs from his head. “What was wrong with me?” Khan thought. “Why can’t I…wait. This is a trick of the wizard’s.” Khan’s willpower was sufficient to break Saruman’s hold but in the moments he struggled to regain clarity Saruman rose and picked up his staff where it lay.

Khan turned and charged again but Saruman would not underestimate him this time. He raised his staff high into the air and unleashed a Bolt of the Valar into the superman bearing down on him. The attack hit Khan mid stride and seared a large hole in his midsection, frying his insides. His body fell to the ground in a bloodless heap.

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