Issue 31: Sydney Brown's Sixty Seconds
By Sydney Brown

Sydney Brown’s Sixty Seconds

Two must-sees in this week’s update and rare-upon-rare, these are two you can still catch in the theater, (as of May 2007.) You’d be a fool to miss them.



300 (2007) Gerard Butler ***½



Visually stunning and all-around entertaining film about the Spartan movement against the Persian army despite the fact that there were 300 Spartan soldiers and over a million Persians. Film perhaps overstates its violence, (it’s there but in video-game style), and basically the film is this: the first major Hollywood video-game movie. You almost expect to see a score in the left part of the screen. The dialogue is silly, (and actually caused me a few laugh-out-loud moments), but the action sequences and stunning visuals more than make up for it. If you didn’t see it in the theater, I doubt you’ll have nearly the experience on video.



Caught (1996) Edward James Olmos, Maria Conchita Alonso **½



Good, yet unexceptional story of a fishman and his wife who take in a drifter who becomes attached to the wife. Standard love triangle story with the nice touch that none of the three characters are particularly mean-spirited, they just make bad choices. Film picks up once the couple’s son, (an obnoxious stand-up comedian), comes to town and can sense what’s going on right away. Actually, the last half really takes off with him as he’s the true bad guy, yet morally, he’s actually the good one. A good film with a few memorable scenes, but the payoff isn’t quite what it should be, and several scenes seem to come out of nowhere.



Children of Men (2006) Clive Owen, Julianne Moore ***½



Gutwrenching futuristic film about a chaotic world where women have become infertile, and Clive Owen finds himself protecting the one woman who isn’t from terrorist groups and the government. Incredible camerawork highlighted by three amazing sequences done in a single take, (or as research after the fact has shown, wasn’t, but damn if it doesn’t look like it was.) Film is moves slowly in the first half hour, but does it ever take off afterwards. Great soundtrack adds to what I consider to be stylistically a borderline masterpiece. Be forewarned, this IS a very dark and depressing film, but it is a film to be seen and to be studied.



Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) ***



Satire of “sex, drugs, and rock & roll” stories, three women and their manager head off to LA to make it big, and proceed to have sex with everyone they make eye contact with, all while getting stoned. Russ Meyer’s only mainstream film is ridiculous yet utterly hilarious. Only in the last 20 minutes does the film start to lose its luster. Lots and lots of nudity as well as doses of orgies, abortions, rapes, lesbian sex, and a beheading. Certainly a love it or hate it film, but I definitely enjoyed it. Film also has a surprisingly catchy soundtrack. Script was written by film critic Roger Ebert.



Hot Fuzz (2007) Simon Pegg ***½



Dare I say, probably the funniest film you’ll see this year, and the most I’ve laughed in a theater since Team America. The creators of Shaun of the Dead, (which I haven’t seen), mercilessly mock American action films in the tale of a perfect London cop sent down to a small town with no crime because he’s “too good.” Only complaint is the film’s a tad too long, (there are roughly three different endings), but there are huge laughs all throughout, especially in its intentionally over-the-top finale. And trust me, you’ll laugh as hard as you wince at certain scenes that are legitimately some of the gorier stuff you’ll ever see. Forget the plot, just go with it. I guarantee you will laugh. And hard.