Issue 26: Tournament of Villainy
By Rascal Stallion

Elle Driver vs General Zod

Name: Elle Driver		Name: Zod
Occupation: Assassin	vs.	Occupation: General
Origin: Kill Bill		Origin: Superman

Elle quietly crept into Zod’s room and spied him sleeping in the lavish bed positioned against the back wall. Silently she unsheathed her sword and savored the moment before her target’s intestines were cordially introduced to his black 320 thread-count sheets.

Elle softly spoke, “I might never have liked you. Point of fact, I despise you. But that doesn’t suggest I don’t respect you. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.”

Unbeknownst to Elle, Zod was awake from the moment she entered the room. He lay prone as she approached, trying to discern why she dared disturb his slumber. If someone had sent her, they too would pay as dearly as she was about to.

Elle swiftly brought the sword down into Zod’s chest, but the blade could find no flesh. It bounced off his smooth Kryptonian skin reverberating violently in Elle’s hands.

Zod rose and glowered at Elle, her defiant face showing signs of betrayal as fear knotted her stomach.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” Zod demanded.

Elle swung the sword again, this time at Zod’s head. Zod grabbed the blade as it sliced through the air and easily snapped it in two.

“On your knees you pathetic creature!” Zod shouted as he grabbed Elle and ripped off her legs just below the knees.

Elle toppled over as massive amounts of blood poured from the gaping holes in her legs. Zod realized he had perhaps been too zealous in his interrogation and would not be able to glean any information from this would-be assassin.

Zod bent down and inhaled deeply as he placed his mouth over Elle’s trembling mouth. Zod exhaled in a massive breath, rapidly exceeding the capacity of Elle’s lungs causing them to burst from within. Zod continued exhaling as Elle’s body became bloated before finally bursting little bits of her all across the room.

Zod went to find the dustpan and some sponges.

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