Issue 46: Tournament of Villainy
By Rascal Stallion

Syndrome vs Saruman

Name: Syndrome aka Buddy Pine		Name: Saruman
Occupation: Super Villain	vs.	Occupation: Wizard
Origin: The Incredibles		Origin: J.R.R. Tolkien’sThe Lord of the Rings

The worst thing about the subway was the smell. The second worst thing was all the filthy people. The third worst thing was all the panhandlers, although as Saruman thought about it, that third thing was really just an extension of the second one and probably didn’t merit being its own thing. At any rate, he was in an especially sour mood. That’s not to say he wasn’t always in a sour mood. It should be noted, however, that this mood was so sour that it was nasty compared with his average mood. Suffice it to say, he was not happy. His car was in the shop and he had no option but to use public transportation to return to his home in Newark.

Saruman pushed his way into the waiting subway car just as the doors were trying to close and was immediately jostled from behind by some lout trying to push his way on as well. He turned to give this ruffian a displeasing look and found himself eye to eye with an equally disgruntled Syndrome.

The two subtly pushed against one another for the next few minutes, each one trying to make a little more room for themselves. After two stops’ worth of riding, the subtlety disappeared and a full blown fight was on the verge of erupting.

The train slowed to its third stop and as the doors opened behind Syndrome, Saruman gave him a forceful whack with his staff that sent him sprawling out onto the waiting platform. With a satisfied smile the old wizard informed Syndrome he had best wait for the next train if he valued breathing.

Syndrome’s temper flared and he activated his utility gauntlets and seized Saruman with a burst of zero-point energy. He pulled Saruman towards him and held him in place as the doors attempted to shut on him. With another flick of his wrist he whipped Saruman fully out of the car and sent him flying headlong into a brick support pillar. The pillar cracked upon impact, as did Saruman’s skull.

Saruman lifted himself from the ground and used his booming voice to command several citizens to attack Syndrome. He then lifted his staff and unleashed a bolt of valar at him. Syndrome used his aero-boots to evade the people, who were then incinerated by the valar bolt.

Syndrome captured Saruman in another wave of zero-point energy and flung him towards the tracks. Once positioned above the empty tracks, Syndrome violently raised Saruman towards the ceiling. He struck with such force he went through the roof up to his shoulders. Saruman was in terrible pain but he yet lived. This was soon to be not the case.

Hopefully Saruman didn’t have anything terribly important he wished to accomplish while still alive because while Syndrome held him in place the next train swept into the station, taking the lower half of Saruman’s body with it. The subway car was washed in guts as they rained down from the wizard’s body. Syndrome sidestepped a thick drip of blood as he re-entered the car to continue his journey home.

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